Sammy was a lonely fellow; all he ever wanted in life was a wife and a family. So one day he took off with nothing but the clothes on his back to search for his future wife. A day into his journey he came upon a village called Betrothed. "Alas! Here is where I will find my bride! He claimed in a fit of joy. He walked into the local inn and asked the man at the counter where he could possibly find a lady to make his bride.

The man gave him a little sack and said, "Inside this sack are three magical stones, go to the castle at the top of the hill and give these stones to the king and he will then let you marry his daughter, but I must warn you, do not look into the sack before you are in the King’s presence." So off went Sammy to the top of the hill, as he nearly reached the castle, he wondered what the big deal was – so he looked inside the sack, and there glistened three of the most beautiful stones he had ever seen. He smiled at the sight of them and he then entered the castle. As he came before the King, he presented the stones but they turned to dust right before him; the scowling King had him remove immediately.

As sad as Sammy was for not having a bride, he continued on his way. He then came across a carriage that had three beautiful women within it. He stopped the carriage and asked the gentleman escorting the ladies how he could possibly marry one of them. The older gentlemen gave a warm smile and said, "You have to take my daughters out – all three of them – at the same time and treat them with utmost respect; they will then report back to me and if all goes well you may get to choose one of them as your bride." So Sammy took the three women on a date. He was flawless that night, he treated them like delicate flowers and he made them feel like they were the most beautiful creatures on the planet. They giggled with glee as Sammy brought them to the door of their home. The entire night he had been longing to tell them that he was lustful for their sensuous bodies, but he had kept quiet until now.

"Boy, you all have an amazing bosom!" He blurted out. He quickly wrapped his hands around his face, but it was too late, they were all frowning, and just as he suspected – he didn’t get to marry any of them. So Sammy continued on his bride-seeking quest. He came to a beach, and on that beach laid a mermaid, bathing in the sun… Sammy really didn’t mind if she was half-fish. "Will you marry?" Sammy asked her. The mermaid became a little angry with him.

"How dare you ask me such a question? I barely know you!" She claimed in utter disgust. Sammy could not take another rejection, he just wanted a bride, so he did what he thought was appropriate; he cried. He bawled like an infant without his mother’s breast. He told her of his journey and of how all he wanted was a family to fill the void in his heart. She sympathized for him and so she told him that if he could bring her three strands of Rapunzel’s hair – Rapunzel was a maiden who was trapped inside a high tower – he could marry her cousin, Samantha. So off Sammy went to retrieve three strands of hair from the head of a maiden whom he did not know.

On his way down a strange and dreary path, Sammy came upon yet another village. Rapunzel, who is this Rapunzel? He wondered to himself, so he decided to go to the village information center and ask around. He came up to one of the desks and asked the lady sitting behind it who in heavens was this girl, Rapunzel? Upon hearing his words, she dropped her tea and scalded her knee. She let out a shriek and stood up looking embarrassed. "You will have to excuse me, but I cannot answer your question," she said and left without saying another word. This left Sammy quite confused, why would she not answer his question? So he went up to another desk and asked the same question, and he ended up getting the same frightened looks and the same short responses. Now Sammy was just too frustrated to care.