Manure

 
 

 

No one ever said the word

in the house. We never said

damn or hell or bastard or

son-of-a-bitch or fuck or asshole

or cocksucker or goddamn or

any of the other forbidden words

that were the common language

of the barn on risk of absolute

and total excommunication

from family. Manure? Manure

was an alien concept, as alien

as the word urine. We all said

shit or piss in the house, as in

my six year old brother's comment

when confronted with his first

artichoke: "What the shit is this

shit," and my mother's response:

"Piss on you if you don't try it."

 

I hasten to mention, lest you think

my family barbaric, that compound

words of shit and piss were forbidden.

If you said bullshit or cowshit, you'd get

cuffed alongside the head, and if you ever

said obscene words like pigshit or horsepiss

or called someone a chickenshit, you'd get

really clocked - even my sisters were not

immune from this linguistic hairsplitting.

Once, in a wiseass experimental moment,

I told my older sister she was full of 

protozoa shit, but even though no one knew

what I was talking about, I got whacked 

and sent up to bed without supper.

 

I suppose this liberality with the words

came about because of the ubiquity of shit

 
 

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